Have you ever felt like you and someone else were talking, but not really connecting? Like the words were there, but something was off, the conversation did not flow and the understanding was missing?
You might have been using different communication styles.

What Are Communication Styles?

Communication is the way we process and share information; using words, tone, body language, and even silence. And while we all communicate, we don’t all do it the same way.

The way we absorb and express information often reflects how we process the world. Some of us respond better to what we see, others to what we hear or feel. These preferences are commonly grouped into three main styles:

• Visual – think in pictures, use descriptive or spatial language
• Auditory – process through sound and rhythm, prefer verbal instructions
• Kinesthetic – focus on feelings, movement, and experience

This model is often referred to as VAK (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic). Some also include Olfactory (smell) and Gustatory (taste), but VAK covers the majority of how we communicate daily.

Why does the communication style matter?

Because communication is not just about what you say, it’s about how it lands.
When two people use different styles, it can feel like they’re “not speaking the same language.” Misunderstandings, awkward pauses, or lack of engagement are often the result.

The kind of style we have a preference for is an indicator of how we are used to processing information and how our brain is wired.

Each style comes with its own preferred vocabulary, tone, and rhythm. When you notice and align with someone’s style, even just slightly, it can dramatically improve connection and clarity.

Here’s a quick look at the breakdown:

Let’s talk VAK!

In a workplace context, recognizing communication styles can reduce misunderstandings, improve teamwork, and make feedback more effective.

Step one? Observe. Notice the words someone uses:

• Do they say, “I see what you mean”? → They might be visual
• “That sounds good to me.” → Possibly auditory
• “I don’t feel great about this.” → Likely kinesthetic

Step two? Adapt. Use similar expressions that resonate with their style. It’s not about changing your message, it’s about adjusting the way you deliver it.

For example: If you’re a visual communicator and you say, “I see where this is going,” but your colleague is auditory, they might not resonate with that phrasing. Instead, you could adapt and say, “That makes sense—I hear the direction you’re coming from.

Small changes. Big difference.

Have fun experimenting!

At the end of the day, communication isn’t just about words, it’s about connection. The more flexible you become, the stronger your relationships will grow.

You don’t need to “get it right” all the time. The goal is to increase awareness and open new doors to clearer, smoother conversations.

Below are examples of how each communication style shows up – and how you can start adapting your language to connect more effectively.

ASK YOURSELF
– What kind of words and expressions do people in your team use most?
– What is your primary and secondary communication style?
– What’s one situation this week where I could try flexing my communication style?

Photo by Christina Morillo